Around this time I remember sitting on the cold cement steps of 1629 Bonfair, Bellflower, CA in my underpants and watching/helping the sun come up...maybe the beginnings of my spiritual quest.

Exact date is unknown but about this time, I had a minor breakdown and spent about a week in the mental ward at Queen of Angeles Hospital in Los Angeles, CA. I received no medications except for a sleeping pill the first night. Following that, for the remainder of my stay, I stayed up all night playing poker with the interns and several self-admitted older patients. I only saw the doctor once or twice and he told me that I could never come back there.

While there, a nurse would take me down stairs to buy milk shakes. When I was released, she suggested that I have some sessions with her husband, Dr. O 'Neal, a psychologist/metaphysician. I don't recall how many sessions I had but he loaned me Baird T. Spaulding's 4 volume "Masters of the Far East". I could not put them down. I am not sure if the metaphysician recommended/loaned it to me but I also read Paramhansa Yogananda's "Autobiography of a Yogi" at about this time. I would sit for hours on my bed in the lotus position trying to contact the masters!

Years later sometime after 1980, I purchased a copy of the 4 volumes and read them again!

Sometime during the El Patio job, I began a relationship with a woman, Rachel B. It was very serious on my part and when it ended, I felt like half of me was missing. I recalled the concept of a "soul-mate" and began investigating that concept. Much more on this as I get time.

2011/09/15: for many years, I have suspected that I had projected my anima so strongly on her that I never really knew her and that losing this projection made me feel that half of me was missing...leading me to the feeling that I had lost my "soul-mate"!

Shambala Bookstore - Sam & Mike:

Obviously, during this time, I had many spiritual questions. My job at the UC Berkeley library allowed me to do personal reading. As I read, new questions would arise. During lunch time I would go down the street to Shambala bookstore. I would "scan" the bookshelves with my hand and I usually found one or more books sensed by feeling warmth in the palm of my hand.  Usually the books were used and fairly cheap. When I got back to the library, I would start reading the new books and, very frequently, I would find some answer(s) to my recent questions. This happened for many months.

After bugging Sam and Mike almost every day  by asking so many questions, they suggested that I attend the talks by Joe Miller which were given weekly in the basement of Shambala. Attending one session, I was hooked! Joe and Guin became my spiritual teachers. Joe and Guin were members of the San Francisco Theosophical Society which I joined and from which I borrowed many books. Eventually I became a part of the "inner family" of the Miller's spiritual students.

Joe & Guin Miller:

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• san_francisco_theosophical_society-blog_archive-joe_miller-on_time_and_timelessness-filmed_by_charles_ fariduddin_falk-19910101-3941kb.mp4
• san_francisco_theosophical_society-blog_archive-miller_archive-7330kb.mp4

I prepared many dinners for Joe and Guin at my Berkeley cottage before talks at Shambala...drove them back to S.F. after the talks...Joe especially liked my macaroni and cheese.

medititation and vision of eternal now with experiences depending on where attention is directed ...maybe influenced by Seth Speaks series. I had purchased Seth Speaks by Jane Roberts (Butts) some time ago but could not really get into it. A couple of years later, I could not put it down and ended up buying and litterally devouring all of Robert's Seth books. After Robert's death, another person claimed to channel Seth and wrote several books but I could not relate to any of these books.

Evans-Wentz books

Wei Wu Wei books

Magic including Aleister Crowley; read a lot and much seemed very familiar like I had spent a lot of time/energy practicing magic at some time (previous lives?); but I did not practice any magic.

after being alone without companionship for a while, one day I "put out the message to the ?" that I was alone; later that day I picked a young lady hitch-hiker who needed a ride to a friend's house which was near my house; I drove to my house and let her out; a couple of hours later she knocked on my door and said her friend had moved; she stayed with me for a month or more; she moved out when I met Carlynne and she left me a very nice thank you note.

yoga teacher: Mischa Dolnikoff

Carlynne B., third wife - met at S.F. Theosophical Society - marriage by Sam and Mike (who created an uninterpreted astological chart as marriage certificate)

Joe sent young man to ask consult with me

meeting with Zen teacher...no students showed up...hangup with levitation. provided breathing exercise. breathing exercise and earthquake!

I recall driving across the Oakland-S.F. bridge and seeing the street lights go off as I approached them and then going back on. This happened many times! I was reminded of this on 2011/10/19 by the movie "White Noise 2: The Light" which described the Near Death Experience and to hear Electronic Voice Phenomena.

Annie F., a co-worker at UCSD, was taking classes at the Berkeley Psychic Institute (BPI), San Diego. She did multiple "psychic readings and healings" for me. One time, when she was "accessing the Akashic records" and trying to determine my "real self", she said that I was not in the usual records but rather in the most ancient scrolls and that there were only 7 such scrolls. She also said my "real" name was unprounceble.

Based upon what Annie seemed to be able to do, around this time I also took a class or two on psychic healing at the BPI. Details to follow.

psychic healing episodes:

Class healing master - during one of the classes, each student was assigned a "healing master" to assist them...some got Indian masters, some got American masters, etc., but when it came to my turn, the teacher just looked at me and went to the next student. I was puzzled and, at the end of the class, I asked the teacher why I did not get a healing master. I was sent to the local head of the BPI and was told after a while that my healing master had no pronouncable name and seemed to be a bundle of energy! I worked with this master for several years.

In one class, the students were learning to "clean auras", while I was looking for "hot spots", I found such a hot spot and I visualized holding it in my hands and drop-kicking it away...it seemed to disappear. when I looked around, I saw the teacher looking at me with an astounded expression on her face! Later when other students were simply cleaning auras, I was visualizing reaching inside the person to be cleaned...when the teacher saw what I was doing she said that that technique was taught only in the advanced classes.

Another time when, another student was trying to clean my aura, he/she was having a problem and when the teacher saw what was happening, she stopped the student and sent me to a special group of advanced students in another room for a cleaning. During the cleaning, the advanced students freaked out and the head of the BPI was summoned to alleviate the problem...apparently a powerful and apparently scary energy/being was associated with me...the BPI head was able to clear the room of the powerful influence. It seems that I was always doing or having things happen which were out of the ordinary!

Wayne's dog with problems and Doc's reaction

Barbara H. breathing problem (diaphram stuck)

events at Sam's classes

Huna magic

young man with back problem & young woman with hearing problem

During a visit to Joe and Guin, when I told them about the healing classes, they both asked me to do a healing on them. When I tried to check out Joe, it seemed that he was able to block my investigation into why he was having leg/foot problems but I told him he was lacing his shoes to tightly. When trying to check out Guin's onset of blindness, I "reached" into her head and located which eye was having the problem....Guin also said that she sensed a vibration in her head while I was searching.

Because I have always been a sceptic, during all my healing attempts, I never said what I was doing and asked that the person let me know if they sensed anything. I was almost always told they experienced some kind of sensation and it was virtually always at the location I was "working".

experience with succubus? but not demonic more like a female spirit hovering over me!

Read a lot about Masonry including anti-masonry materials and decided to join a lodge. My mentor was Al Sawyer.

I was raised to the degree of Master Mason at Lakeside Lodge 760.

Shortly thereafter, I passed through the degrees of the York Rite

and

the Scottish Rite.

I also joined the Southern California Research Lodge F&AM.

2009/10/22 After several years of being inactive due to work and ill health, I allowed my memberships to lapse.

I just found these printouts in a stack of old stuff! So here for your enjoyment:

If you know where these originated, I will be happy to provide the correct attribution(s)!

From Beliefnet Buddhist Wisdom:

In meditation, don't expect anything. Just sit back and see what happens. Treat the whole thing as an experiment. Take an active interest in the test itself, but don't get distracted by your expectations about the results. For that matter, don't be anxious for any result whatsoever.

- Bhante Henepola Gunaratana, "Mindfulness in Plain English".

IMHO some of the best advice regarding meditation.